At every dais in the diaspora, at fundraisers, and at singles events, Jews are urged to marry other Jews to save the Jewish people. This seems rational and imperative, for it takes little to see that Judaism in America has a sustainability problem. The Jewish intermarriage rate in America is either 47% or 54%, according to the National Jewish Population Study of 2000-2001. (The two figures define Jews differently.) Despite decades of pro-intramarriage programming, this is a dramatic rise from a 13% intermarriage rate for those married prior to 1970. Most Jews, apparently, see little reason to marry Jewish.

But intermarriage isn’t the only reason Judaism’s future seems imperiled. Jews who marry Jews tend to marry later than other Americans, and average 1.8 children per family (a level less than replacement). Of these 1.8 children, significantly more than half will marry out. The Shakers doomed themselves to a futile future through celibacy, and modern Jews seem to be moving towards a similar fate.

Generally, Jewish organizations don’t advocate that in-marrried Jews have at least three children. Even if no one intermarried, with this birthrate, the Jews would still dwindle, just more slowly. Most campaigns for singles hype finding one’s soul mate as the lure, and once they’ve made a match, only follow-up in the form of fundraising, rather than in urging couples to raise more than two children. Viewing marriage solely as personal fulfillment, and without understanding the larger value of Jewish survival, why not have fewer children and more luxury?

Orthodox Jews, on the other hand, marry young, rarely outside the faith, and average an estimated six children per family. There are no hard statistics, but according to the National Jewish Population Study of 2000-01, 39% of Orthodox Jews are under 18 years old, and 51% are under 44, whereas for all Jews, only 20% are under 18, and 44% are under 44. Percentage-wise, almost twice as many Orthodox Jews are currently under 18 than are non-Orthodox Jews. If the Orthodox were excluded from the “all Jews” birthrate, it would be significantly lower than 1.8, and the intermarriage rate would also be higher. Even committed non-Orthodox Jews, who don’t intermarry, and who are committed to the Jewish people, rarely have more than two children; their commitment is expressed more in terms of tzedakah (charity), temple membership, and politics. These are also important commitments, but without the Orthodox creed, even those doing the deed are unlikely to breed (which is the thing we most need). Orthodox Jews don’t need expensive campaigns encouraging in-marriage and procreation; they do it automatically, despite difficulties, because the Torah tells them that having children is a blessing and an obligation. Still, most Jewish organizations seem willfully blind to Orthodoxy’s success.

Could this level of commitment to in-marriage and procreation be recreated outside of Orthodoxy? Would non-Orthodox organizations succeed with a campaign encouraging non-Orthodox singles to marry Jewish, marry young, and have large families? Given their track record halting intermarriage, this seems unlikely.

Why should single American Jews limit themselves to dating and marrying less than 2% of the population? There are millions more attractive, kind, smart, and genuinely good Gentiles than there are Jews, and given our Western values of tolerance and equality, and the hardship of loneliness, there is no rational reason not to love and marry a good person of any background, short of the Torah being true. Why should non-Orthodox Jews not only in-marry, but marry young, and have large families, given the sacrifices involved? For security? For posterity? Because of the charm of Jewish tradition and culture? Because if they don’t they’ll break the chain, handing Hitler a posthumous victory? Because they like bagels and lox? Just because?

None of these reasons will persuade any serious person to make these perceived sacrifices, because they don’t answer the real question: why it matters. What is the ultimate value in the Jewish people surviving as Jews? Do Jews exist for a purpose, and are we fulfilling it? Without a mission beyond security or preservation, any culture, society, or religion becomes self-indulgent: focused not on eternal ideals and a grander mission, but upon transient matters of pleasure, aesthetics, comfort, consumption, and matters of conscience that aren’t too inconvenient.

Further, given that a focus on in-marriage may seem “racist” (or at best parochial), why should a sensitive modern human being limit, stigmatize, or jeopardize oneself this way? The lack of a good secular answer is why I see these trends as inexorable, and why Orthodoxy succeeds where all secular and liberal Jewish movements have thus far failed, encouraging Jewish growth and procreation.

Orthodoxy holds that there’s a central and imperative purpose for continued Jewish existence: it’s our mission to heal the world, and we can only succeed if we adhere to the Torah. While other segments of Judaism claim adherence to Torah as well, they fail to create the kind of commitment that keeps a majority of adherents from marrying outside of the faith and having enough children to replace themselves. Effectiveness is usually one good measure of the truth of a proposition. Because Orthodoxy has proven itself as the most successful predictor of Jewish survival over multiple generations, Jews ought to closely examine its claims in the context of the relative failure (not for lack of sincerity) of other Jewish segments in perpetuating and protecting the Jewishness of the Jewish people.

Survival isn’t enough: humans need a transcendent reason for that survival. I believe Torah is that reason. If you don’t or won’t, yet still believe Jews and Judaism should survive, at least focus your campaigns on children and adolescents, rather than young adults, teaching them to see Jewish in-marriage and having larger families as an imperative. Play not to the idea of self-fulfillment through soul-mates; instead appeal to idealism about, love of, and sacrifice for the Jewish people for the benefit of the world, and–if you can handle it—for the love of God. Fund Jewish day schools more thoroughly, and advocate for aliyah more loudly. Create campaigns targeted at the folly of parents who allow their children to date Gentiles in high school and college and then become upset when they marry Gentiles. Most crucially, regardless of your own beliefs, fund programs that promote Torah to non-Orthodox Jews. In-marriage and larger families are often the by-product of increased Torah commitment. And let us merit to reunite the Jewish people as one nation under God, and thus heal the world.